8 Qualities Healthcare Workers are Looking for in a Relationship
Being in the dating world may mean keeping a list of traits you would want in a partner. This is normal and common, even as a healthcare worker. Now, perhaps as a healthcare worker this means making changes to that list along the way. According to female healthcare workers I interviewed, that list is adjusted for several reasons. One of those reasons is the obstacles faced while dating. This includes assessing how your career affects the journey in finding the right person. Now, I want to highlight the qualities searched for by these female healthcare professionals.
4 Internal Things to Look for in a Partner as a Healthcare Worker
Connection before becoming intimate in the physical ways. Lynn, a 60-year-old healthcare professional, says, "Now that I've healed…, I need a connection before I'm going to engage in any kind of sexual activity." This may be a matter of preference and comfort level. But, for a lot of women like Lynn, that connection is vital. Being intimate in the physical or sexual realm is important. Yet, it is important to keep in mind that it may come with feelings and attachments. We hear about (or go through it ourselves) people (who’ve become intimate) not having the same intentions in that situation-ship. This can leave at least one person to feel rejected. By growing a connection first, it can create security between the two people. They then can decide where to go from there. Often, having that connection can make that physical intimacy mean that much more.
Willingness to be vulnerable. This may mean being honest about what you are thinking, feeling, and sensing, even when it brings discomfort. Maura claims, "I think also the emotion piece is huge. I do like it when people are more able to be vulnerable." Being in healthcare, you’re perhaps playing the role of someone who must keep it together and be strong. This is especially in front of patients. Outside of work, you may want someone with whom you can feel comfortable in showing your tenderness. To have someone that understands and returns that openness creates trust in a relationship. It also increases that emotional intelligence we talked about in the previous blog.
Stability. Beth says, "We're all works in progress. We all should be trying to improve ourselves in different areas, emotionally, mentally, career-wise, financially, spiritually." Being stable helps with growth and vice-versa. If a partner does not show growth, this may be worth looking into on why. You may assess how this affects how stable they seem in their career, emotional and mental health, partnerships, and others. Beth poses these questions, "'Are you in a stable spot and are you working to grow in those as well?’”
Spiritual maturity. This can also be a matter of preference, but for women like Beth, it is a factor she values. Being with someone who is spiritually mature may demonstrate how they will operate in the partnership. For instance, let's say you meet someone who dedicates their time in growing their relationship with God. This may show their ability to show similar efforts when growing their partnership with you.
4 External Things to Look for in a Partner as a Healthcare Worker
Someone doing their own inner work. Kathy, a 34-year-old woman in healthcare, states, "I want somebody who is going to value their own mental health…their emotions and not just brush things off, and also in turn value mine." Kathy was not alone on that. Maura, a healthcare professional, expresses, "I would appreciate it if someone I was with was in therapy too, almost to help balance that out…. I also think I've done so much of my own work that I would appreciate that effort and dedication from someone else too." Beth, a 31-year-old therapist, agrees, "I think people need to make sure that they're doing work on themselves and not expect that from somebody else if they're not doing it themselves." So, why is this important? That inner work, like in therapy, is what may help a future partner address past wounds and traumas. When they process things and start their healing, the changes they make may show. It could show in how they communicate, problem-solve, etc. in a relationship. It raises the likelihood that both people in that partnership understand one another. This furthers their connection and acceptance for each other.
Shows support. It may seem obvious, but there are people who feel lonely in their partnership because of the lack of support. When it comes to making decisions, pursuing a dream/goal, it is essential to have a partner who encourages you. Kathy says, "I love when someone can be incredibly supportive and basically be my cheerleader."
Willingness to do those little meaningful things. Kathy speaks, "I think...something that makes me feel respected is when you're willing to just sit next to me and put your phone on the other side of the room for a little bit or something. The little things that show you that somebody cares. I pay attention to those now." Sometimes we think making a grand gesture is needed, but as we see, it does not have to be. Those little things can still let your partner know you care, you are there, and you are present.
Similar interests. This is not to say that opposites do not attract, but this can also be a matter of preference, too. Maura reports, "I crave someone who's similar to me or has more similar interests." It can bring some connectedness. No two people are exactly alike, and differences are absolutely welcomed. However, those similar interests can feel meaningful, making a partner feel seen and heard because the other partner understands.
Healthcare workers are known to be attentive, nurturing, helpful, and other traits. To have heard from these women what they desire in a partner was rewarding. They've focused so much on the needs of others. So, allowing themselves space to think and search for what they want is just as needed. The above traits go to show the in-depth connectedness that healthcare workers desire when dating.