6 Ways to Give a Little Time for the Child Within You

The child within you. Maybe he or she is 4 years old. Perhaps she’s a teenager. Whatever age she is, your inner child is so important. Sometimes we go through life wishing to rush forward and we can forget our earlier selves in the process. But giving time for our earlier selves has multiple benefits. It can keep us “young at heart” and helps helping that younger one heal. Most of my clients come from relationship anxiety or trauma that stem from childhood. So, giving time to our inner child is part of our work together.

6 Ways to Give a Little Time for the Child Within You

Giving time to our inner child does not have to be hours at a time. If you do have that time, great. But if you do not, totally okay. Perhaps make it a point to set aside 15-30 minutes. The activities below can be useful for you:

1. Engage in activities that your younger self enjoyed. This can include arts and crafts or listening to music we liked at that age. Watching tv shows or movies for nostalgia helps. Also, if you were like me and loved going outside as a child, enjoy some time in nature. This can also help you connect with that little one. When you engage in these activities, it can allow sensations, emotions, and memories to come up. This is especially if these activities usually brought your younger self joy in that period.

2. Keep an item your younger self had around. A teddy bear or blanket can suffice. If it’s a teenaged you that you want to connect with, maybe it’s a physical item that played music. It can also be a piece of clothing. Maybe you don’t have anything your earlier self had, but you can replicate it. These physical items can engage your sense of touch, smell, and sight. These senses can help you connect with that younger one.

3. Journaling from your younger self’s perspective. Going back in time write from your younger self’s perspective can feel validating for her. Maybe you write about the positives that were happening. If it feels safe for you, you may also identify what difficulties she was going through. If you’re able to do the latter, this may be a good indicator of the hurts she endured. This could also indicate where your inner child may be stuck at; for instance, she may be stuck in a traumatic event that happened.

4. Write a letter to your younger self. You can use this as a continuation from #3 to respond to her. Or, simply as is. In this letter, you are acknowledging how life has been since her age. Maybe you are talking about obstacles and other traumas you may have gone through. Let her know how much you have overcome. This can help her see how resilient you (and especially she) are. It does not mean you have to be completely healed to do this activity. We are always on a healing path. But this can signify to her that healing and overcoming has been a reality. Maybe you are in your healing journey now and you can let her know what it’s been like. Moreover, perhaps you can write about your future goals. When we think about our future goals, we get excited. Imagine how much more your earlier self will feel excited for about your future goals. It shows her more possibilities and opportunities. And it gives something that the both of you now can look forward to together.

5. Send your younger self some compassion. Maybe you are looking at a photo or video of her and you can just…feel and sense her. Or perhaps you can envision her in your mind or have a sense of her around/inside of you. Send her some compassion that she needs and deserves. If your younger self looks or feels upset, sad, or alone, I have my clients send a beam of light. This beam of light can signify that she is seen by you. It can also signify that she is light in what may feel like a dark place.

6. If you can, have a conversation with your earlier self. This can look like saying “hi” or introducing yourself to her. Sometimes our earlier self does not realize we have grown up. A lot of my clients’ earlier selves look surprised when my clients tell their age. On the other hand, if you are not able to have a conversation with your earlier self, there's a reason. This may be because a part of you is not ready for you to access that younger one. Maybe there is a sense of protection over that younger one. Parts of us will protect our earlier selves due to mistrust. That mistrust developed after a traumatic event or wound. Therefore, protector parts will need some trust building before they allow you access. Do not feel discouraged if this happens! That is why therapy is available to help you through that trust-building process.

Giving time for the child within you is beautiful. It shows you are not forgetting about her. Also, it demonstrates how much you care about her. This is possible even if you have been through relationship trauma. For the younger ones who have been hurt or betrayed by others, you can make that difference for her. You're the one she needs. Doing these 6 activities can help you reconnect with her in the way she deserves. If, by chance, you sense a blockage like I had explained earlier, this is a good chance to seek therapy. Therapies, like Internal Family Systems (IFS) or parts work, can help guide protector parts into building trust with you. Trust with you is crucial to get access to that little one. Once you get access to that child within you, the healing and unburdening can begin.